Emotional Intelligence – Why It Matters More Than IQ

Author: Daniel Goleman

Genre: Self-Help, Management

The million dollar question! What makes people successful? More precisely, what makes some people more successful than others? This is the question Dr. Goleman (a PhD from Harvard) tried to answer, and ended up popularizing the concept of Emotional Quotient or Emotional Intelligence.

His first discovery was that neither IQ nor academic knowledge had a serious correlation with success. Studies after studies – in groups as diverse as Harvard graduates all the way to kids of immigrant labors – showed that people with high IQ or high academic scores were neither materially (money, status) nor socially (relationships, happiness) any better off as compared to those with average IQ/academics. Of course, on an average, people with very low IQ tended to perform poorly, but beyond a reasonable IQ that most of us seem to have, it did not seem to make a significant impact in our lives or career.

So then what are these “other factors” that contribute to success? Quoting a plethora of research in the fields of psychology and neuroscience, the author suggests it is all about A Emotional Intelligence: our ability to understand and channelize our emotional energy. Research showed that kids who, in school, showed high ability to handle frustrations, control emotions and get along well with others seemed to be doing the best in their adult life. It’s almost like we have two minds: one rational and one emotional! And we all know that emotions or the feeling mind always end up trumping the thinking mind. We need to learn to control it.Specifically, Dr. Goleman identifies 5 traits that all of us should try and inculcate in ourselves and in our families:

1. Knowing our emotions or Self-awareness: Ability to understand our feelings as they happen.When is anger about to take over us, when are we getting biased, when are we feeling insecure. Once we know our true emotional state, we can do something about it. Often feelings can not be controlled but with self awareness we can control our actions.

2. Managing our emotions or Self-discipline: Our ability to soothe ourselves and shake-off feelings like anxiety or frustration or negativity. This allows us to bounce back from life’s setbacks and also become magnanimous and objective despite our personal biases. Often strong emotions will come in everyone’s life, successful people are just able to come out of it faster. Temperament is not destiny, we have the power to choose.

3. Self motivation or Passion to Excel: Our desire to leave a legacy, to put in our best not because of external rewards but because that is the only way we know. We all have seen top performers who almost seem wired to excel. This passion is a skill in itself.

4. Empathy: Our ability to put ourselves in the shoes of others, and truly understand their emotions and feelings. Picking up subtle social signs to know what is going on in the mind of others, so we can adapt our behaviour accordingly.

5. Managing social relationships: Ability to strike win-win partnerships based on mutual respect. Finding common goals with others. Networking socially.

In my own corporate world experience, I can completely vouch for these 5 traits. Those who have these, tend to do very well, and those who do not have these tend to very soon hit a glass ceiling. And the best part is that enough experiments have proven these can be taught in a classroom and improved with effort.

While the concept of Emotional Quotient is brilliant and extremely value adding, the book itself can be long and a little boring. For beginners, I would recommend first reading Dr. Goleman’s HBR paper on the same theme, What Makes A Leader (just do google and you would find it, 6-7 pages only).

The good news is that Emotional Intelligence can be developed. We can improve our self-awareness, self-discipline, motivation, empathy and networking if we really decide to work on it. And in doing so, make our own lives and this world a better place to live in.

Why should you read the book: If you sometimes wonder why your career is not moving forward, and what fundamentally is the difference between you and some of your more successful peers, chances are it will be a host of Emotional Quotient qualities that need to be further honed. Even in our families, good parenting requires us to role model high Emotional Quotient behavior (do we empathize with our kids, do we control our anger in front of them, do we emerge as their coach and mentor).

Goodreads Link: Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman | Goodreads

1 reply

Sarvesh says:
June 22, 2023 at 5:38 am

Loved reading through the 5 traits! Amazing book
Reply

Fish! A Remarkable Way To Boost Morale And Improve Results

Author: Stephen C. Lundin Ph.D., Harry Paul, and John Christensen

Genre: Management

Fish! is a parable about a fictional manager who is charged with the responsibility of turning a chronically unenthusiastic and unhelpful department into an effective team. This department is so “bad” that it is referred to by others as a toxic energy dump.

In truth, Fish! is about the Pike Place Fish Market located in Seattle (USA) and how its’ employees interact with their customers in delivering their business. It is purported as a true story and holds relevance for any department where work tends to be repetitive (operations, customer service, telecalling etc.) and hence often boring.

Pike Place Fish Market used to be like all the other fish markets around them—as one worker says, “same routine job of selling fish day in and day out. How exciting can that be?” Then they discovered an amazing thing: there is always a choice about the way you do your work, even if there may not be a choice about the work itself. You could choose the attitude you bring to your work. Pike Place is now a place where employee wanted to come to work, and numerous documentaries have been made in the fun and engaging way it carries out its daily chores:

1. CHOOSING YOUR ATTITUDE:
• You can bring a moody attitude and have a depressing day;
• You can bring a grouchy attitude and irritate your co-workers and customers;
• You can bring a sunny, playful, cheerful attitude and have a great day

2. PLAY:
• You can have an adult playground and be productive
• The benefits of play are many: happy people treat others well; fun leads to creativity; time passes quickly; having a good time is healthy; work becomes a reward and not just a way to rewards
For example, each fish was known by a nick name, and fishes were passed to each other like a game (literally thrown to the other person who had to catch it).

3. MAKE THEIR DAY:
• Don’t stand apart from your customers but rather find ways to include them in your fun
• Find ways to create great memories
• Focusing your attention on ways to make another person’s day provides a constant flow of positive feelings

4. BE PRESENT:
• Interact with your customers and coworkers
• Multi-tasking doesn’t allow you to be fully present
• Being present is looking right at the person; its just like being with your best friend…everything is going on around you but you’re still taking care of just them.

In the story, the fictional manager extols his team to learn from Pike’s experience and they succeed.

[While I enjoyed the story, I also visited the actual Pike Place Market, and unfortunately the experience there was much less transformational than what the book says. But don’t let facts spoil a good story :)]

Why should you read the book: Any stakeholder of a team doing repetitive tasks has a lot to learn. I used to run a shared service center for P&G in Philippines and the teachings here helped a lot. Read the book for its fun prose, large fonts and easy reading (shouldn’t take more than an hour).

Goodreads Link: Fish!: A Remarkable Way to Boost Morale and Improve Results by Stephen C. Lundin | Goodreads

1 reply

Sarvesh says:
June 22, 2023 at 5:38 am

Loved reading through the 5 traits! Amazing book
Reply